I remember shouting at God with what I thought was righteous anger. "God you Promised!!" I yelled, "You promised!! This is not what you promised!!."
I was upset. I was hurt. It seemed that God had broken his promise. He had let me down like all the other people in my life.
"Why?" I asked.
I knew He is prefect. I knew He does not made mistakes. My brain knew that. My intelligence knew that. However, my emotions would have none of it. My emotions wanted to wage war. My emotions wanted to give God the silent treatment. So I did. I did not talk to Him. I filled my time with everything else expect for Him. I wanted to punish Him for letting me down. I wanted God to feel like how I did, sad and brokenhearted.
Clearly, this course of action made no sense. But my emotions assured me it did. My emotions laid the plans and carried out the actions.
This is why as Christians, we live by faith and not by sight (2 Corinthians 5:7). I am only just realizing to what extent this verse means. Our emotions react to sight; so we see, we react and we believe. That is how we are programmed to function. But, as children of Christ our communion with God teaches us that sight is relative. Sight does not explain things of the spirit. If we use sight when it comes to our relationship with God, we will find that we will become bitter and give up on God.
Faith is what gives us that assurance. Our assurance comes from God. A pastor said once, faith is the power of God inside us. We cannot touch it, we cann0t see it but it is one of the most powerful tools we have. Without it we will lose our way.
So, I was not using my faith above. I allowed my emotions to rule my communion with God. How many times do you make that mistake?
2 comments:
Hi Sherice, thanks for this honest article. Now I do really understand what the Bible meant by "Guard your heart with all diligence..." Like you rightly concurred, we are to walk by faith and not by sight; seriously, several things just don't make sense a times, things just always go so wrong but that doesn't mean they should mar our fellowship with God, rather they should make it. Oh yeah, I aint said it's easy but then why do we have the first fruit of God's Spirit? He is faithful and just and will not allow any temptation that we cant handle to come our way. And yes, I made that mistake in the past and I've learnt and moved on.
James,
Thank you for sharing. This is a topic that many people don't want to talk about. Somehow, they think it is blasphemy to be really honest about this very topic. Once again thank you for sharing. Your thoughts really touched me.
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